"Yes! we have no bananas" performed by Corporal Greg Horton, Sensitive and International Investigations RCMP National Division

Corporal Horton .....

There's a fruit store on our street
It's run by a Greek
And he keeps good things to eat
But you should hear him speak!
When you ask him anything, he never answers "no"
He just "yes"es you to death, and as he takes your dough
He tells you
"Yes, we have no bananas
We have-a no bananas today

We've string beans, and onions
Cabbageses, and scallions
And all sorts of fruit and say
We have an old fashioned to-mah-to
A Long Island po-tah-to
But yes, we have no bananas
We have no bananas today"

Business got so good for him that he wrote home today
"Send me Pete and Nick and Jim; I need help right away"
When he got them in the store, there was fun, you bet
Someone asked for "sparrow grass" and then the whole quartet
All answered
"Yes, we have no bananas
We have-a no bananas today

Just try those coconuts
Those walnuts and doughnuts
There ain't many nuts like they
We'll sell you two kinds of red herring
Dark brown, and ball-bearing
But yes, we have no bananas
We have no bananas today"

Yes, we are very sorry to inform you
That we are entirely out of the fruit in question
The afore-mentioned vegetable
Bearing the cognomen "Banana"
We might induce you to accept a substitute less desirable
But that is not the policy at this internationally famous green grocery
I should say not. No no no no no no no
But may we suggest that you sample our five o'clock tea
Which we feel certain will tempt your pallet?
However we regret that after a diligent search
Of the premises
By our entire staff
We can positively affirm without fear of contradiction
That our raspberries are delicious; really delicious
Very delicious
But we have no bananas today

Yes, we gotta no banana
No banana
We gotta no banana today
I sella you no banana
Hey, Marianna, you gotta no banana?
Why this man, he no believe-a what I say
Now whatta you want mister?
You wanna buy twelve for a quarter?
No? well, just a oneofadozen?
I'm-a gonna calla my daughter.
Hey, Marianna
You gotta piana
Yes, banana, no
No, yes, no bananas today
We gotta no bananas
Yes, we gotta no bananas today

Written by Frank Silver and Irving Cohn from the 1922 Broadway Revue, Make it Snappy