Saturday, January 11, 2014

Stephen Harper should play in traffic maybe he'd get whacked ..... Canadians should be so lucky!

Good Day Readers:

Like Stephen Harper, the next article outlines the deep political .... in which tacky New Jersey Governor Chris Christie currently finds himself. It sounds eerily much like the Prime Minister's approach to the senate scandal - even though the boys in short pants and girls in short skirts of the PMO were feverishly running around in hushed tones engaged in frequent assignations, if he is to be believed, he never once thought to ask his former and now disgraced Chief of Staff Nigel Wright, "WTF is going on dude?"

Clare L. Pieuk
Christie unaware he was the governor
By Andy Borowitz
Saturday, January 11, 2014

TRENTON (The Borowitz Report)

At a hastily called press conference today, Chris Christie revealed that he only became aware that he was the governor of New Jersey in the past seventy-two hours.

“Unbeknownst to me, some people I thought I could trust were secretly working to elect me governor of this state,” a visibly stunned Christie told reporters. “I have acted swiftly and fired them all.”

While asserting that he had terminated all of the people who were involved in the scheme to elect him, he said that, if he finds additional conspirators, “I will deal with them accordingly.”

Christie struggled to explain how he remained in the dark about being governor, a position he has held since 2010: “I guess I’m just not much of a detail person. People think I’m a micromanager. I’m not. If a bunch of people are going behind my back and plotting to make me the governor, that’s not the kind of thing I pick up on.”

Reflecting on his reaction to the news that he is the governor of New Jersey, Christie said he felt “angry, embarrassed, and humiliated, but mainly just sad.”

“It’s sad that this was allowed to happen,” he said. “It’s a sad situation for me and for New Jersey.”

Photograph by Spencer Platt/Getty.


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