Rihanna - a very bad decision!

Good Day Readers:

At times like this we're reminded of a television interwiew given a few years ago by a psychologist with many years experience working with battered women. If after the first incident the perpetrator does not get immediate counselling, there will likely be others which progressively get worse. That is why if media reports are correct Rihanna has reconciled with Chris Brown prior to him receiving treatment it could turn out to be a very dangerous decision.

Sincerely,
Clare L. Pieuk
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Young people might get the impression that domestic violence is easy come easy go," one activist says. At left a leaked photo of the abused singer; at right, Chris Brown appears in court. Rihanna has reconciled.

Rihanna's 'Bad Example'
The singer's decision to reconcile with her alleged abuser shocks fans
Kathryn Blaze Carlson
National Post
Monday, March 09, 2009

As feminists around the world yesterday marked International Women's Day, many within the North American movement found themselves in a quandary, divided over whether to highlight or downplay a high-profile case that could help as much as hinder their campaign against domestic abuse.

The case in question surrounds singing sensations Chris Brown, 19, and his girlfriend Rihanna, 21, who for the past month have been at the centre of a media frenzy headlining the violent events of a night gone terribly wrong.

Just three days ahead of Women's Day -- the theme was "Women and Men United to End Violence Against Women and Girls"-- Mr. Brown was arraigned in a paparazzi-laden Los Angeles court on two charges of felony battery after allegedly beating his girlfriend on the eve of their scheduled performances at the Grammy Awards.

According to a detective's affidavit released last Thursday, the couple got into a fight after Rihanna found a text message on her boyfriend's phone from another woman. Mr. Brown allegedly pushed her head against the window and punched her with his right hand, causing her mouth to fill with blood. He reportedly also bit Rihanna on the ear and threatened to kill her after she pretended to leave a message with her assistant, telling her to have the police waiting at her house.

A leaked police photo of the battered pop star and the chilling affidavit detailing the bloody beating have captured the reality of an attack that would likely have otherwise been swept under the rug, easily excused as a sensationalized non-event and veiled in secrecy as so many domestic abuse cases are.

And so, on the one hand, Rihanna's attention-grabbing case puts the spotlight on violence against women, helpfully exemplifying the indiscriminate reach of domestic abuse. Indeed, even the most wealthy, famous, and seemingly untouchable women suffer abuse.

But that positive message was quickly marred when television sets, radio stations and magazines grew awash with reports last week that the couple had reconciled and may even have secretly married. Rihanna's seemingly passive reaction has sent an equally powerful, and arguably disturbing, message to the masses of women who worship the songstress.

"Young people might get the impression that domestic violence is easy come, easy go," said Gwen Landolt, national vice-president of REAL Women Canada, an organization focusing on women's issues. "This sets a bad example."

Sandy Banks, newspaper columnist and mother of teenage daughters who once adored the two artists, echoed Ms. Landolt's concerns in a recent Los Angeles Times column. "Although they are not on a concert stage, millions of young people are now watching what may be the couple's most important public statement," she wrote.

Not long ago, Mr. Brown and Rihanna made for a scandal-free couple, forming a high-powered duo with successful careers and an enviable jet-setting lifestyle. Parents of the millions of teenagers who cooed over the pair probably found the celebrity infatuation relatively harmless.

Carpooling moms and dads tuned into stations spinning Rihanna's Disturbia or Mr. Brown's Forever, pleased to see their children singing along to these artists rather than ones with reputations marred by drug abuse, gang involvement, eating disorders or promiscuity.

While the leather-clad songstress embraced the persona of a tough woman whose independence oozed from her faux-hawked hairdo down to her platform-heeled dancing feet, Rihanna's decision to reconcile with Mr. Brown is proof that celebrities are human, too -- and provides evidence of the intractability of a problem that, as highlighted by Sunday's Women's Day events, knows no boundaries.

Soon after the alleged attack, fans gathered from across the blogosphere to support the Barbadian singer, assuring Rihanna, whose father is a former drug-addict who reportedly left when she was nine years old, that she would no doubt survive the ordeal. Online polls asking whether Rihanna should give Mr. Brown a second chance offered a resounding "no."
"Keep your chin up and walk away from Brown," said one supporter on music site BoomBox.com. "If he hit you once, it'll happen again. Don't walk away from this incident -- run," wrote another.

But while Rihanna's MySpace page was inundated with comments like these, she remained largely mum on the incident save for this statement from her spokesperson: "Rihanna is not commenting about the incident involving Brown. She wants to assure her fans that she remains strong, is doing well, and deeply appreciates the outpouring of support she has received during this difficult time."

Just last weekend, Rihanna shocked fans by reuniting with Mr. Brown at rapper P. Diddy's Miami mansion. That celebrity P. Diddy tacitly endorsed the reconciliation by offering his home to the young couple is itself unsettling and has the celebrity community abuzz.

"All the abusive men are celebrating," wrote one fan on MTV.com's Web site. "It sets a terrible example for women everywhere."

Add to that award-winning artist Kanye West's plea to the public to give Brown "a break," rapper 50 Cent's comment that the alleged attack was "past what would happen in a traditional dysfunctional relationship, just a little more," and Rihanna's father's statement that "I don't know how to react. Chris is a very talented guy," and the result is a likely confused whack of teenagers.

"I see this far too often, where the woman thinks there's a chance for a happily ever after," Ms. Landolt said. "But this doesn't help anyone. A man doesn't learn much this way."

Mr. Brown, who as a child witnessed his mother's abuse by his stepfather, was in court last Thursday for little more than four minutes, no plea was entered and the case was set over until April 6.

Rihanna's lawyer told the court his client did not want a stay-away order against her boyfriend. Though the songstress has not agreed to testify in the case, California law allows the state to prosecute domestic-abuse cases even when the couple has reconciled.