Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Huh?

Everything You Need to Know about Canada
By: Law is Cool Contributors · June 16, 2009 · Filed Under Constitutional Law, Criminal Law, Ethics, Humour · Add Comment

Apparently these are real questions posed by foreigners preparing for the Vancouver Winter Olympics.

Q. I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q. Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A. Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

Q. I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto; can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A. Sure, it’s only four thousand miles; take lots of water

Q. Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A. So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q. It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A. Let’s not touch this one.

Q. Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A. What did your last slave die of?

Q. Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q. Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A. Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q. Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A. Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is, oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q. Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A. No, we don’t stink.

Q. Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year-round? (Germany)
A. No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter and gatherers. Milk is illegal.

h/t Trevin Chow

1 Comments:

Anonymous Tully Vorcheux said...

IS TERRY OUT OF THE LAWSUIT YET? YOU THINK WITH TERRY'S LATEST KISSASS APOLOGY DAVID AND THE BOYS WOULD BE FALLING ALL OVER THEMSELVES TO EXCUSE TERRY FROM COURT.

HEY TERRY - GET USED TO THAT KNEELING POSITION. THEY'VE GOT YOU RIGHT WHERE THEY WANT YOU ; YOU'LL BE ON YOUR KNEES, KISSING THEIR ASSES OR SUCKING THEIR DICKS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. BOW DOWN TO YOUR SUPERIORS, LOSER.

2:10 PM  

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