Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Porn stars make the best lawyers because they're already used to screwing people!

Good Day Readers:

Ms Swift would be a welcome addition to the staid decor of any Winnipeg "BigLaw" firm. Imagine young male lawyers having to work next work while trying to meet filing deadlines.

Sincerely,
Clare L. Pieuk


Porn star passes most difficult bar exam in the country

By Stack Zaretsky
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
As we mentioned this morning, the California bar exam had one of its lowest pass rates in almost a decade. Just 48.6 percent Clare of test-takers passed the exam, which is quite unfortunate.

The Los Angeles Times notes that the pass rate for July 2014 represents nearly a 7 percentage point dip from July 2013’s pass rate. The last time less than half of bar examinees passed, it was 2005.

There was at least one extremely colorful character who was able to pass the exam, though, and she just so happens to work in the adult entertainment industry. While exam scores were going down, so was she — in more ways than one.

Meet Heather Swift. She’s a 2013 graduate of Western State University College of Law, which is accredited by the American Bar Association. Last year, about 75 percent of first-time takers from the school passed the California bar exam. Swift, who told us that she’s a former porn star who’s currently employed as a stripper (does that count as a J.D. Advantage job?), passed the exam this summer.

Here’s what Swift had to say about her amazing accomplishment:

"I took the July 2014 California Bar Exam (my first time taking any bar exam), and I PASSED. No, I did not get time and a half, nor do I have any inside connections to the California State Bar.

How did I do it? Because unbeknownst to many, women in the adult industry are intelligent and can matriculate through a cutthroat tier 3 law school, and pass the hardest bar exam in history. Unlike Miriam Weeks, I actually did graduate through law school, and I actually did pass the most difficult bar exam on my first attempt.

Perhaps society needs to relinquish stereotypes and overcome their jealousy.

No, that's not proper law firm attire.

There are many who would argue that intelligence would automatically rule out attendance at an unranked law school like Western State, even though Swift claims it’s a cutthroat tier 3 institution. But Swift obviously had the smarts to attend a law school that’s just a hop, skip, and a jump away from California’s booming pornography industry in Los Angeles. Someone ought to help Swift find a job in a legal setting. If she can pass the California bar exam when almost no one else can, then she can do anything.

Swift left us with this snarky tidbit at the conclusion of her email:

As for those who snicker at women in the adult industry and who couldn’t pass the exam, stop laughing because a stripper porn star is apparently smarter than you.

Heather Swift is a girl after our own hearts: she’s sassy, classy, and a bit smart-assy.

We wish her the best of luck in her new life as a lawyer. She’s already one step ahead of the game in that she’s already screwed people for a living, and she’ll perform her services even better if a client makes it rain. Any law firm would be lucky to have her.

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