Thursday, December 24, 2015

Headline: Prime Minister to write exclusive Christmas column for Toronto Star

Good Day Readers:

Here's what CyberSmokeBlog predicts Prime Minister Justin Trudeau-Gregoire will say.

Sincerely,
Clare L. Pieuk

Dear Sunny Ways, Middle Class Canadians:

I'd like to begin by thanking the ownership of the Toronto Star Newspaper for this unique opportunity and not extending it to the Leaders of the Official Opposition Parties whom I left in my dust (Chortle! Chortle! Chortle! Gloat! Gloat! Gloat!) on October 19.

During Christmas - Rats! I keep getting that backasswards - the Holiday Season I find it difficult to keep my hands off Ms Sophie Trudeau-Gregoire your First Lady. Excuse me for a moment.
To the millions of poor Canadians I say, "Tough join the middle class like Sophie and me!"

I'd also like to apologize to the millions of middle class Canadians for not sending them a glossy, expensive Christmas Holiday Seasons card with your taxpayers' credit card that won't quit.

To my Immigration and Citizenship Minister John "Cowboy" McCallum I say to hell with refugees from other countries trying to enter Canada open the floodgates for another 25,000 Syrians even though we did not meet our target of January 1, 2016 for the first 25,000 and there will be no follow up to determine how they're integrating. Load up the planes and ships whatever it takes and after that another 25,000 and another 25,000. F... the deficit and national debt! Besides, it's not Sophie and my money it only belongs to taxpayers.

And to my Indigenous and Northern Affairs Minister Carolyn "Cowgirl" Bennett I say, screw the First Nations Financial Transparency Act unlock the millions and millions of public dollars that were previously withheld for non compliance and while you're at it halt any court actions underway to force compliance. It matters not that the FNFTA was working with only 31 of 581 reservations failing to obey the law. Those band members who suspect malfeasance can make information requests under the Access to Information Act that hasn't been upgraded in the more than 30 years since it's inception. Good Luck!

While at it we'll accept all 94 recommendations of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission even if some may be impractical and unworkable. You see, Cowgirl, we need the Aboriginal vote if we're going to stay in power which is what this is all about. Public expense be damned.

Dear friends, you should know I've instructed my Minister of National Defence Harjit "Badass" Sajjan to spare no expense. Order all the new fighter jets, helicopters and navy frigates you need regardless of cost besides it's not coming out of his pocket.

I must go now to attend important matters of state. Nudge ... nudge ... wink ... wink ... know what I mean ... know what I mean?
Prime Minister
Justin Trudeau-Gregoire 

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